


Children of Two Worlds

by Jemini93



Series: Children of Two Worlds [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Bigotry & Prejudice, Chronic Illness, Cousins, Family, Family Drama, Gen, Unconventional Families, Vulcan, parent child conflict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:08:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25884853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jemini93/pseuds/Jemini93
Summary: When Spock's human cousin comes to stay on Vulcan a friendship is formed that will give them both solace. Written in 2014.
Series: Children of Two Worlds [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878355
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	1. Arriving

**Author's Note:**

> Content warnings: chronic illness, sibling issues, parent child conflict, prejudice and bigotry, bullies.

Amanda S'chn T'gai Grayson was startled from her desk-side doze by the bleeping of her computer. With the heady alertness of one woken unexpectedly she squinted at the screen and smiled at the name on the monitor. Melanie Grayson-Stewart, her elder sister by two years, hadn't commed in months.

"Do you have any idea what time it is on Vulcan?" she demanded playfully.

"And you're still up anyway" Mel retorted "you on your lonesome?"

"Sarek's at a conference until tomorrow and Spock's asleep so yes. How are you and the girls?"

"Great" Mel replied unconvincingly.

"Oh no. I know that look. Something's wrong and you wanna talk is that right?" Amanda had the uncanny ability to read people like a book. A useful quality in a Vulcan ambassador's wife.

"I need some advice. Its about Harry. He got the research grant."

"But that's great! Tell him congratulations."

"Thanks but the planet he's been assigned is Xenac VI. We can't go. It's Alex." Mel said dejectedly.

"What's wrong with her?" Amanda asked, immediately concerned about her younger niece.

"Nothing. But the planet's environment is completely wrong for her. Permanent cloud cover. And they don't have the facilities to deal with Tellman's."

"Ah."Alexandra suffered from a rare condition known as Tellman's Syndrome. Patients required abnormally high levels of Vitamin D and exposure to UV light as well as having various sensitivities to food and low temperatures resulting in asthma-like symptoms. Amanda thought that it was sad that in this day and age with such advancements in technology there were still conditions that were incurable. Still, with therapies available on Earth, Alex barely felt the effects of her disease. But now the whole family were having to move to a place without those therapies.

"Harry and I have no idea what to do. He's thinking of leaving the project so we can all stay here."

"But, Mel, that's his life's work! That agricultural research will benefit the entire Federation. And it will take years to train another person."

"We don't have any choice. It's either split up the family or leave. And I can't leave Alex here on her own for six months!"

"And it can't be done on any other planet?" Mel shook her head, raking a hand through dark hair.

Amanda made a decision. "You know, Tellman's is a specialty of the VSA and we get an awful lot of sun here. Alex can stay here on Vulcan while Harry does his work. We're closer to Xenac than Earth is so you guys can visit. "

"Oh, Mandy would you? And Sarek. You sure he won't mind?" Mel's relief was almost tangible over the comm link.

"Of course not! Besides, it would be great for Spock to have a kid near his own age around. Especially his cousin. It will be great for them to get to know each other better."

It was Mel's turn to feel concern. Amanda often talked of Spock's lack of compatibility with other Vulcan children. Their attitude to him ranged from indifference to downright hostility and that wasn't just the kids. Mel remembered her shock when Amanda had told her the words of one of his teachers; "His grading in my class is slightly below average but that is only to be expected given the mean aptitude levels in humans". Apparently racism was logical. Mel had never understood her brother-in-law's culture as her sister had and comments like that were not exactly an incentive to learn. The kid was barely nine for Godsake!

"When you dropping her off then? I can't wait to see her! It's been, what, a year? She grown much?"

"You wouldn't believe it! You'll get along like a house on fire! We're due to leave in a month if everything goes ahead."

"See you then, Sis" Amanda smiled.

"I don't know, Mandy, it's a lot to ask of you…"

"Would you stop?! For one thing you didn't ask, I offered and for another your my sister and I'd do anything for you so shut up and get packing!"

/

The next month saw Spock and his family waiting on a nearby landing platform for his cousin's arrival. It was not in Spock's nature to make prejudgements but when he had been told of the reason for his cousin's visit and about her illness he had been expecting a slightly sickly child, more quiet and studious than she had once been. A most suitable companion. The dark haired girl who tumbled into his life, however, was a very different being. She fell rather than disembarked from the shuttle, almost knocking the Vulcan who had operated the door over "Woops! Sorry about that!" she yelped with a grin before turning to Spock's mother. "Aunt Mandy!" she cried "Great to see you!". The woman and girl embraced before the rest of the family got out. Spock exchanged a glance with his father.

After somewhat more composed greetings had been exchanged between the adults, the two younger children were left to their own devices. "Hey, Spock!" she said, attempting a very clumsy version of the Vulcan salute "wow, you've grown!"

"An unnecessary observation since it is some years since we last saw each other"

Alex laughed "Right. You were, what, four?"

"Four years, two months and eight days in Terran terms" he recited automatically "I believe you had been five for 19 days"

"Even I don't remember that! Mum said Vulcans have great memories. I've been doing some research before I came. Is it true you have giant teddy bears here?"

"Selats are not giant teddy bears but do have an ursine appearance its true" responded the boy "they also are in possession of six inch long fangs."

"Way cool!" the girl evaluated.

"I fail to understand why the temperature is significant. Also Vulcan's temperature is approximately-" he broke off when Alex started laughing. "I do not see how what I've said is amusing."

"No, its, its not literally cool. I just meant, oh never mind, I'll tell you later. Blimey, your right it is hot here!" she fanned herself, the movement exaggerated in what he was quickly learning was a customary way for her.

"Alex" called Amanda "You parents have to go now. Come say bye!". The children walked back over.


	2. Bonding

"SPOCK!" Alex screeched.

Her cousin, were he human, would have sighed. How had this happened?

Well, actually he knew exactly how it had happened. After three weeks of settling in, home study and trips around the local cultural sites, Alex had asked if she and Spock could go 'exploring' in the mountains. It turned out that she was quite the nature girl. Her long disappearances used to be a constant worry for her parents, afraid of her being lost without medication. But she had never forgotten it or her way yet. Still, Amanda had decided against it and Alex was apprehensive of even asking Sarek. If she was honest, and she generally was, her uncle's severity made her feel strangely inhibited around him.

Of course this refusal had made her more determined in the pursuit and she had persuaded her cousin to go along, chiefly to keep her out of trouble. "After all, you wouldn't want me to be going alone, would you? And you did that khas-wan thing, right? We'll be fine!"

They had not been. Within an hour of their excursion, his cousin's medication had been misplaced. Spock knew he should have insisted upon returning immediately but the exuberant human had walked on, calling "We'll be back before my next shot. You can go home if you want" behind her. He replied that he would do no such thing and trailed after her.

For a while it had been considerably more enjoyable and the two children sat on a ridge, surrounded by course grasses, watching the sun fall across the cloudless sky and the ebb and flow of the shadows over the peaks. "Man, we could do with a picnic up here! It's beautiful! Are there birds up here?" Alex rambled. Spock was still getting used to her aversion to long silences. She had leaped up with a laugh and flapped her arms making sharp cawing sounds in between giggles. "Excuse me, Alex, but what are you doing?" Spock asked, furrowing slanted brows.

"I'm an eagle! Or a phoenix? Yeah, definitely a phoenix" the girl decided.

"I would advise caution, Alex. You are drawing quite close to the edge and it looks to be rather unstable" her cousin warned.

"You've got to relax, already!" the girl yelled.

That was before the sediment beneath her feet gave way. Despite Vulcan agility, Spock was unable to reach his cousin before she disappeared out of sight. A moment of agonizingly silent confusion stretched before he heard Alex's cry. He scanned below the ridge to see her lying in a steep groove some twenty feet below, holding on to a seam of harder rock with trembling arms. "Spock please!" sobbed the girl "I'm slipping!". A human boy might have given in to a similar panic but Spock calmly analyzed the situation. For one thing, Alex was not in as severe danger as she believed. A further twelve feet down the slope, a shelf of rock would prevent her from falling further. For another, he could see a clear path for him to reach the shelf from his current position. He would be able to guide her down. If he could persuade her to cease panicking, that was.

"Alex, attempt to calm yourself. You will be perfectly safe if you follow my instructions. Are you injured?"

"I don't know! My leg I think…" she was beginning to hyperventilate.

"Alexandra, try to breathe gently and regularly. I will attempt to join you to guide you down. There is a shelf of rock approximately 12.1 feet below you."

"No don't! You'll fall too!"

"How else do you propose that I offer assistance? Besides, Vulcans receive extensive training in survival skills from approximately four years and six months. I will be quite safe".

"We really need to define approximately, Spock" the girl replied. Good, sarcasm suggested she was considerably calmer.

The descent was rather harder than Spock had anticipated. Several times he scraped his limbs, causing Alex no small amount of anxiety. He reached her level and began the difficult task of guiding her to the shelf. Once both of them were safely seated on the outcrop, Spock inspected his cousin's ankle and his brows furrowed again. It was twisted, swollen and covered in purpling bruises. She was also bleeding from several shallow cuts on her right limbs. "What is it?" she asked.

"You appear to have a severely sprained right ankle as well as several lacerations-" began Spock.

"God, I'm so sorry Spock! This whole thing was stupid. I'm so stupid" the girl held her face in her hands in guilty embarrassment.

"It is most illogical to apologize for being injured. And I do not believe your actions, however imprudent, to conclusively prove deficiency in intelligence."

She gave a lopsided smile and took a deep breath, attempting to get to her feet.

"I do not believe it wise to put weight on that ankle, Alex" he told her and, for once, she heeded his words.

"What are we going to do? Oh, God! My meds! My next shot's due in an hour!" she cried "I feel like I need it now. And have you seen the sky?!"

Spock had indeed noticed the beginning of the Vulcan sunset "I believe it would be unwise to move from our current position. I have brought a communicator with us but it is back at the higher ridge. I will fetch it and call my parents to appraise them of the situation. You must wait here."

Alex bit her lip and nodded. "Can you tell them I'm sorry?" she asked softly, clearly feeling that the next few moments would be some of the longest of her short life.

When Spock returned from comming his mother at the higher ridge, he assured Alex that assistance would arrive within 2.4 hours. "The sky's pretty" she stated. Spock couldn't help thinking that it was a rather strange time to appreciate nature but agreed with her.

Over the next two hours, Alex's condition worsened. She began shivering and her breath came in wheezing gasps between apologies. Spock wrapped her in his overtunic and folded an arm around her shaking shoulders as his mother had done in his infancy, his cousin's need for comfort and warmth eclipsing his own aversion to excessive physical contact. Touch telepathy with a girl in pain and a state of high anxiety was a less than pleasant sensation. By the time the small transport shuttle arrived, she was asleep.

/

Later that night, after Alex's medication had been administered and the healer that usually treated Amanda summoned, Spock was given a severe reprimand from both of his parents. Of course, Alex had been scolded and given the standard 'And what would we have told your parents?' lecture but it was much less than she felt she deserved, mainly owing to her weakened condition no doubt. Alex could be willful and rebellious but she was also a girl of integrity and it hurt to hear her cousin bearing the verbal brunt of her own stupidity. "I would expect better of you, my son" Sarek told him sternly.

"Uncle Sarek, please! It wasn't his fault, honest! I told him I was going to go whether he came or not and he felt he had to come with me to, you know, keep me safe 'cause he knows it round here. He was only protecting me and he saved my life up there. I'm an idiot and selfish and it was all my fault. And I hope you and Aunt Mandy won't send me away and it doesn't mean I can't come back sometime because I really like it here. It won't happen again" she finally paused for breath, looking up at the Vulcan hopefully. She had stood, despite the pain.

There was a strange, if subtle expression in Sarek's eyes. He was quite taken aback at the eloquence of his niece by marriage who had unleashed this apologetic tirade having spoken barely a sentence to him before. He was also very appreciative of her repentant defence of her cousin and, could it be, slightly amused. He didn't exactly smile but his face definitely lost some of its usual controlled tension "You need not worry about the possibility of future visits, Alexandra. You will still be most welcome. A childish lapse will not incur our permanent disapproval. We merely wish to impress upon you the seriousness of the danger you may have placed yourself in. In regard to Spock, he should have consulted either myself or your Aunt Amanda and so some responsibility must fall to him. The healer will soon arrive and it would be wise to rest before she inspects your injury." Sarek inclined his head and left the sitting room.

"Well done, Alex" Amanda told her, rubbing her good arm affectionately "thankyou for being honest. It would have been easy to let Spock take the blame. "

"No it wouldn't! He's too logical!". Amanda laughed."You won't tell Mum and Dad will you?" Alex asked with a wince.

"Alex, I have to. You nearly broke your leg! They visit in a couple of weeks anyway but I think they'll want to come earlier now. Just to make sure you're okay. Now, get some rest."

Then the cousins were alone. They exchanged a glance. "I must leave to complete my studies, Alex, I will return to check on you later" Spock said. He didn't say thankyou. He didn't have to. Alex was becoming quite good at reading Vulcans and appreciation was in his eyes, which had been called human.


	3. Proving

For a while after the incident, Alex's capability for trouble was impaired somewhat. She was still a reluctant resident on the settee when her parents and sister Kaycee arrived a week later. Both Mel and Harry alternated between treating Alex to severe scolding and affection. Kaycee's only words on the subject were "You're gonna end up getting yourself killed, you know", which seemed to be pretty much the usual level of communication between the sisters judging by the following week. Spock's older cousin spent the majority of her time in her guestroom chatting animatedly to several of her friends. His sensitive hearing caused him to overhear segments of this inane talking, mainly about how best to artificially darken one's complexion and attract members of the opposite sex. Spock found it most illogical. After all, it would be some years before Kaycee would be allowed to pursue a romantic relationship with any of these young males and he had never grasped why some human females spent so much energy concerning themselves with appearance. There were surely much more efficient ways to spend one's time and consideration. His few attempts to enlighten her of this were met with a flippant "whatever, weirdo". Sometimes, however, Kaycee's words were rather more unpleasant. "God, I can't wait till I'm home! Six months I've got to go from some completely dead glorified farm on some backwater to here whenever my idiot sister decides to get herself into trouble. I don't care if she's sick alright, she's irritating. Especially with everyone fawning over her like she's some little angel…The Vulcans? I swear these people all have sticks up their ass, even the half-breed. I can't believe my Aunt Mandy wanted to actually marry one of those freaks! They can't love anyone. I mean what's that even like?". Spock had to make a physical effort to relax his fingers, which had tensed into fists. His usual level of emotional control slipped somewhat whenever the other children used the 'H-word' and the fact Kaycee was family made it all the more unpleasant.

For a number of months after, life was quiet, punctuated by similar visits. After Alex had introduced Spock to several rather irrational works of literature and board games he decided to teach his cousin to play chess and the Vulcan lyre, the first with rather more success than the second as musical rhythm was definitely not Alex's forte. She was an enthusiastic student of both.

It was over one of these games that Alex concocted her next scheme. "Do you reckon I could go visit your school for a day? You know, just to see what it's like?"

Spock paused. The other children treated him with enough hostility. How would they respond to the arrival of a fully human girl? "I do not believe that would be allowed, Alex."

"Why? Afraid I'll cramp your style with my illogical human ways?" she teased. He gave her a significant look "you're not serious? They won't let me visit 'cause I'm human? Wait, you're always serious. I guess the whole IDIC thing goes out the window!" the girl was trying to make light of it but it stung to think that Vulcans would not accept her on equal terms. She moved her knight.

"My father says that emotional control takes many years to perfect and so children are still on occasion susceptible to irrational prejudice. This they have demonstrated. On one occasion, I too lost my emotional control and became violent towards them."

Alex was taken aback, seeing clearly how much that admission had cost the boy "You became violent? A Vulcan in a temper? Now that I'd like to see!"

"I do not believe you would" Spock replied, moving a pawn.

"I thought prejudgements were illogical. Come on, Spock, at least ask! I'm really curious. Otherwise I might have to find a another way to get my own way."

"Given the consequences last time you exhibited such an attitude, Alex, I feel it best to ask permission rather than forgiveness or advise my mother that the services of her healer will be needed again."

Alex looked up "wait, was that a joke?"

"You may take it as such if it pleases you, krei. Very well, I will consult my mother on the subject."

Alex grinned, "checkmate!"

/

"Come on let me take the test!" Alex said to the older child.

"I do not believe that would be a productive use of our time. Besides, the classroom is locked and is off limits without the presence or permission of our instructors" said the Vulcan boy with a severe look.

"No problem, I learnt to jimmy doors years ago. Peeking at Christmas presents. Which means nothing to you, I guess" she said absently.

"I've heard of that tradition" said another of the boys with a barely perceptible edge to his voice "a story about an impossible birth that has perpetuated an annual torrent of more than usually illogical behavior among Terrans"

"God, you guys really need to loosen up!" Alex rolled her eyes.

"Will you attempt to instil some respect for the rules into your…relative?" said the only girl in the Vulcan group, turning to Spock sternly.

"Nobody's managed yet" Alex replied sardonically, then "hey, we're in!"

She walked into the classroom in rapid strides, leaving her cousin and his classmates to trail after her. It was certainly different from any other classroom she had been in, with dim lighting save for the panoramic screens built into recesses that reminded her of craters in the floor. Spock had told her that when undertaking a test or personal project, each child was fired questions by the computers built into them. She pulled a switch mounted next to one of them. "C'mere, Spock. Help me choose a programme. My Vulcan's still a bit shaky". He gave her a significant look. She nodded. The two cousins selected a mathematics and science test aimed at Alex's age group. She climbed into the pod and Spock stood back to join the other Vulcan children.

"I predict she has a 86.7% chance of scoring below pass level" said the girl serenely.

"I believe those odds to be incorrect" responded Spock defiantly.

And he was right. When the computer calculated her score it registered at well above pass level. She climbed out of the pod and simply walked past the Vulcan children with a quietly triumphant "tra du hal-tor" and then "C'mon Spock, we gotta be going now.

Spock felt a very strange sensation then. When he described it to his mother later she said "Well, I think you were proud of her". And as illogical as it was, Spock found himself agreeing. After all, Amanda was rarely wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> krei=female cousin
> 
> tra du hal-tor= (roughly) there you go.


	4. Missing

The act of 'missing' someone was an emotional state. It was not, however, one that Vulcans thought of as illogical. After all, it was perfectly logical to crave the company of those with whom one shared sympathies and interests. At least, that was what Sarek had said to Amanda when she had teased him about reciprocating her statement that she would 'miss' him when he departed for Desaaarii Minor's peace talks. Spock was also becoming familiar with the feeling. After six months of his cousin's lively company, her father's project ended and she had to travel back to Earth with her family. Initially, Alex's interruption of his normal life was rather distracting but he had grown to enjoy it. Rarely had he felt so readily accepted as he did with her. She was boundlessly curious rather than judgemental and her sunny attitude was very pleasant to be around. Spock thought that Alex's friendship was one of those unusual things that are easy to obtain but still hold great value. It was also quite possibly the first and certainly the closest such connection he had ever had, being the target of taunts or avoidance among most of his peers, especially Stonn and his group. Even T'Pring was less than agreeable to him, in spite of the fact they were intended for each other when they matured. Incidentally, this was one of the few aspects of Vulcan culture Alex had shown an active dislike for, especially after finding out the girl who had shown such scorn towards her on her visit to the Youth Academy was to be her 'cousin-in-law' someday. Most of his other social ties were older children or adults who did not look on his mixed heritage as a disadvantage.

Then there was Sybok. Spock had always shared a certain empathy with his older half-brother because they were both unusual specimens of the Vulcan race. Spock may have been half-human but Sybok's peculiarity was more obviously apparent and a conscious decision on his part if one discounted the influence his mother and her family might have had on it.

His eldest son's semi-official membership of and sympathies for the V'tosh ka'tur had always been a thorn in Sarek's side, especially when he seemed to be attempting to convert his younger brother to the group. "Really, little Spock! Why do you torture yourself so? Trying to live up to an ideal you'll never achieve in their eyes? If only you'd just let go and be more human, honor your mother's heritage. Maybe they'd even respect you more." This confused Spock and cause him no small internal conflict but he still enjoyed his sibling's company. He was one of only two, now three, people to show him open affection, although he was definitely more melodramatic than his mother who he treated like his own (she explained that teenagers in more emotionally expressive species often were) and certainly provided his young mind with food for thought. Not that he had any desires to join the 'Vulcan's Without Logic' as they had been called by mainstream society (a not entirely accurate title as they sought to combine emotions with logic, as Sybok often explained).

As Sybok got older, he became more extreme in his views. A few months after Alex had gone home, it was quickly becoming apparent that Sybok and Sarek were "no longer compatible as members of the same household" as Sarek put it. In other words, they were at constant loggerheads. Eventually, Sybok packed is belongings and left Vulcan for good, much to Amanda's dismay. Sarek, too, was displeased with this turn of events and seemed to have resolved not to discuss his older son.

So Spock found himself compelled to contact his cousin. The comm was answered almost instantly. "Hey, Spock! What's up?"

"How do you know that something is amiss?" replied the boy.

"I didn't. Figure of speech but now you mention it, is everything ok? Your Mum and Dad alright?" she replied, dark eyes immediately concerned.

"They are both well. However something rather…unpleasant has happened. Sybok has decided that the conflict of political and cultural views between himself and our father prohibits his continued residence here."

"He ran away?!" asked Alex, shocked.

"That is the essence of his actions yes" the young Vulcan agreed.

"Where'd he go?"

"I am unsure. I believe he mentioned Orion as a possible new home. He and I did not have the opportunity to speak about it before his departure". Indeed, Sybok's only words had been "Well, I expect I'll see you one day, little brother. If you decide the Vulcan way no longer suits you, find me". Spock hadn't had time to point out how difficult that might be, given the size of the Alpha Quadrant.

"Surely he told your Dad?"

"I do not believe Father would show interest in the information".

"Wow" whistled Alex. The father son relationship had never been great but she had clearly never thought it would get this bad. She had liked Sybok. He had always had time for her when she stayed on Vulcan which was more than her human sister ever did. From their previous communication, Spock gathered it had got worse since they returned to Earth and Alex would have been glad of Spock's call. "Do'ya miss him?"

"I admit the lack of our conversations have left a noticeable void in my social interactions" the boy mused.

"Well, I'm always here for a chat if you want" Alex's tone showed they felt woefully inadequate in her own ears but they were sincere and that appealed to the Vulcan boy.

"I…appreciate that, Alex. And our friendship." Spock responded.

Alex started at that. That was the closest she'd heard him come to verbal affection for anyone save Amanda. "I'm glad I got you too" she said finally.

After a brief pause between the cousins, Spock said "I believe the appropriate phrase is 'so how are you?'"


	5. Defending

themes here.

Spock sat cross-legged on the floor, attempting to find a level of meditative concentration. The Vulcan philosophy taught that in order to govern one's emotions, he or she must dedicate time to removing oneself from and examining them objectively until they learnt the cause and resolution to any difficulty. Such a state was eluding him.

His concentration was impaired somewhat by the memory of his parent's earlier disagreement. It appeared his mother was most displeased with his father's reaction to some remarks that had been made by Spock's instructor regarding his progression to the next level of education. She had wanted Sarek to feel as outraged as she did by the sheer xenophobia on display. His response had been to question how Spock was to be accepted and respected as his own person, not to mention develop as a sentient being, if his parents insisted on interfering in every problem he encountered. A valid, if apparently callous point. Amanda was hurt by Sarek's seemingly uncaring attitude to the racist treatment of his wife and son "I suppose as an inferior human, I couldn't possibly grasp that logic, could I? Just like our son couldn't possibly be equal to any one of those kids!" she had said heatedly. She wasn't impressed with Sarek's subsequent use of reasoning either. "When Vulcans get completely disgusted with each other, they never walk away, do they? Well humans do." She had punctuated this comment with proceeding to do exactly that.

Suddenly, Spock's meditation was made impossible by a rattling sound. He turned sharply to see a most unexpected sight.

Alex was stood at the door to his mother's garden, wrapping her knuckles on the glass. In her right hand was a rather full duffle bag. "Let me in" she mouthed, anxiety clear on her face. Spock crossed the room to oblige and was immediately engulfed by sobbing human girl. The shock of the sudden weight almost bowled the Vulcan boy over. He stood, returning her distraught embrace awkwardly. For several moments neither of them spoke. "Alex, please inform me why you are so distressed" the younger child inquired.

"I thought…you'd ask why I'm here" she hiccupped.

"I presumed both queries would meet with the same answer"

"God, I've missed that sass" she sniffed, sinking down onto the settee "Kaycee. I just can't stand living with her right now!"

"Can you give me specifics?"

"Can I ever!?" she sighed "well I told you she's got a new boyfriend, right? Well she's always been a bit bitchy but it's got worse since she met him. When she gets herself someone to bully, he eggs her on, says kids ought to be taught to toughen up and that's usually me. Mum and Dad don't know she's going out with him. Well, they don't know much these days. Work, y'know."

"What is the nature of their relationship? Is it likely to be of some length?"

"I know they've done it if that's what you mean" Alex said frankly. Spock raised a thin eyebrow. "Yeah, looks like it. When she knew I'd found out she completely freaked. She asked me if I was gonna tell Mum and Dad and I said I might. I mean, she's not even sixteen! I got this for that." and here she pointed out a cut bruise on her temple. Spock's eyebrow climbed further into his neat hairline.

"Did you inform your parents?" he asked.

"No, Kaycee told them I'd fallen off my bed. It's up a ladder. I wasn't about to tattle either. Next day, I..." she hesitated and Spock nodded encouragement "I overheard her talking about you to Jake, her boyfriend. She, she called you a H-word and a freak and said that's why I liked and listened to you 'prattle on' cause I'm one too."

"I assume your reaction was not favorable."

"No, I punched her in the nose. It was, bleeding and everything" she said looking oddly proud "nobody, I mean nobody, calls you that, not in front of me anyway." Spock's face shifted slightly "Well we had another fight and she said if I loved my precious Vulcan family so much I should go live with them cause nobody wants me there. She said Mum and Dad thought I was a pain in the ass and wished I was pretty and popular like her and didn't have Tellman's" Alex swallowed, fresh tears coming "I packed and left in the first transport to Vulcan. I nearly forgot my meds cause I couldn't leave fast enough."

"I was not aware that they would allow a lone child on such a long journey" Spock stated.

"Well, they didn't exactly allow me. I kinda stowed away in the engineering section" said Alex with a strange mixture of sheepishness and mischief.

"I do not have a very high opinion of their security procedures" Spock commented.

Alex let out a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. "Sorry to burst in like this but I, I just couldn't stay there! I've had it with her." she murmured.

"I would certainly have preferred it if you had informed me of your extreme unhappiness in our comm talks so I might have informed my Mother and through her, yours. I highly doubt that your parents have any dislike of you company and find it difficult to credit that they prefer Kaycee to yourself especially given her undesirable qualities. It would be most illogical and unjust of them to blame you for your illness. I am certain they will be most anxious about your whereabouts. Furthermore I do not believe your unique personality makes you a 'freak'."

Alex was about to respond when Amanda entered the room with a glass of water which she immediately dropped. "Alex!" she gasped. Sarek entered moments later, drawn by the smashing sound. "It appears we have a guest, my wife" he said with raised eyebrows.

/

Once Alex had been issued hot chocolate and the gist of the story teased out of her, she was placed in the guestroom she always used and told that she wouldn't have to worry about a thing until morning. Once the family were back in the living room, Spock turned to his parents.

"Mother, Father, there are several things Alex did not inform you of about the nature of her fight with Kaycee. She has been harassed by her and her 'boyfriend' for several months, both verbally and physically. During the disagreement which caused Alex's departure from Earth, Kaycee used some highly derogatory language against her and myself and informed her she was no longer wanted as a member of her household based partly on her illness. Several days prior to this, Kaycee assaulted Alex for threatening to reveal her relationship to their parents due to her concerns over Kaycee's wellbeing and health."

"I gather from this that the relationship between Kaycee and this young man is not platonic in nature." Sarek said gravely.

"No, Father" replied the boy.

Sarek turned to Amanda, their disagreement forgotten "I suggest we inform Melanie and Harry of their eldest daughter's reckless behaviour with the boy and her highly reprehensible treatment of Alex."

Spock shifted "Alex inferred that Kaycee's behavior would worsen if she informed their parents."

"Spock, it's our duty as family and responsible adults to tell your Aunt and Uncle. Your father and I and, I expect Aunt Melanie and Uncle Harry will make sure that nothing will happen to Alex, okay? I'm sure they'll be just as horrified by this as we are."

Spock left the room, his conscience appeased.

/

Two days later, Harry and Mel had arrived and spent many hours talking to Alex alone. This left Kaycee to stand outside the room, which just happened to be Spock's reading place. Were Spock not Vulcan, this would have been decidedly unsettling for both of them. As it was, it was a rather unpleasant atmosphere until Kaycee couldn't stand it anymore and spoke.

"I just want to say you were right. About Jake, about everything. Mum and Dad gave me a real ear bashing and I guess it gave me the slap upside the head I needed. I dumped him pretty quick."

"I see. I was under the impression that you did not care for the opinions of 'Half-breeds' and 'freaks'" Spock returned coldly.

Kaycee had the decency to look appropriately abashed. "I'm sorry. I never meant…I mean you've always been kinda weird but that…steps over the line. I mean, I'm sure from where you're standing I am too."

"Indeed, it is most peculiar to make oneself a source of constant pain and strife for one's sibling. Particularly for such reasons as illness and social status. I believe an apology is more greatly deserved by her." Spock said, looking her in the eye.

Kaycee clearly didn't know how to respond. She left the room with a nod. Spock's words had clearly struck a chord because the sisters could be seen walking among his mother's lovingly tended roses later that day. Their relationship would by no means be entirely healed overnight, their conversation looked very stilted and they barely looked at each other, but today had certainly been a step in the right direction.


	6. Celebrating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit out of season I know but I did originally write a Christmas chapter and wanted to include it here. Set a couple years after the last one. The Grayson-Stewarts live in London, my home city, at the moment.

teaching post at a university. It's awesome this time of year!

"Spock, come on!"

"I think I will decline, Alex."

"Just try it, ok? Look, I even got you a fork" she said, having pre-empted any cultural objections. Vulcans never ate with their hands if they could possibly help it, deeming it unsanitary. Which might be true but it hadn't done humans much harm in thousands of years of civilization. He would probably reply with a quip hinting that something obviously had.

The two cousins were wandering along London's South Bank, taking in the sights of late-December. The illuminated historic Houses of Parliament had been particularly interesting to Spock, who as usual sounded like he'd swallowed several encyclopaedias. The whole boat trip from Greenwich Peir, he had been reeling off facts and dates, much to Alex's delight and Kaycee's chagrin. The party had split up after Kaycee had decided to go 'proper shopping', reminding them to meet Melanie and Harry at Charing Cross Terminal at 8. Alex had rolled her eyes and led her cousin off. "Now we get to see the cool stuff that we can't see in like every other town on the planet!". The relationship between the sisters, while not particularly close had improved substantially but they were simply too different to fully understand each other's tastes.

For the last hour, the two of them had been walking together (or rather Alex had been dragging Spock) around the vibrant Christmas market. It was a veritable feast for the senses, a mixture of carousel music and Christmas songs, enticing smells, vibrant lights and decorations filling the cold air. Alex had been making a succession of whimsical purchases which included, amongst other things, yet another scarf ("hey, Tellman's remember. I can't get too cold. I have an excuse!"), a snowglobe and a real paper notebook. Alex had even been able to persuade him to go on the carousel, despite his declaration that it was illogical to take a mode of transportation that didn't actually travel anywhere. "Life's about the journey, Spock" she told him.

That was when Alex had come across the stall that sold chimney cake. Ordering a cinnamon covered one, she was now insisting upon Spock sampling the pastry. He was pleasantly surprised by the spicy, subtly sweet flavor.

"You see! Told you you'd like it! Let's try the caramel!" she grinned.

"Indeed, Alex. However, I do not believe we shall have time as we are due to meet your parents over the bridge in 7.8 minutes".

"Shoot!" yelled Alex "ok let's go before they start freaking out."

/

If London had been well adorned for the midwinter celebrations, the Grayson-Stewart household was a veritable grotto. The suburban abode had a multitude of lights, figurines, two fully covered faux fir trees and the halls were well and truly decked. The family had just finished its annual Christmas Eve tradition of laying gifts under the largest of the trees and had tucked into more mince pies than was strictly decent.

"I wish your mum and dad could have come." Said Alex sleepily.

"My Mother was very sorry she couldn't celebrate with us, Alex, but she was required to assist my father. He is dealing with a matriarchal race, the Ca'lii, who do not recognize males without female companions. It is considered quite scandalous on their world for a man to be unaccompanied."

"Its unusual to have it that way round" commented Melanie with a laugh "I kinda like it" she added, turning teasingly to her husband.

"That's stupid" interjected Kaycee "how's anyone supposed to get anything done if they have to have someone permanently attached to them? Anyway, I'm off up. Night, everyone."

"Gonna go lovey-dovey talk to Ben? Whisper sweet nothings?" smiled Alex.

"Shut up!" responded Kaycee, prompting giggles from all but Spock.

"Ben?" he inquired.

"Her new boyfriend. He's a nice guy" Alex clarified "he coming over Boxing Day and New Year Mum?"

"Think so. Think I'll follow suit. Coming, dear?"

Soon Alex and Spock were the only occupants of the living room. As Alex checked the doors, she noticed something. "Hey, Spock, it's snowing! Wanna go see?". At his doubtful look she rolled her eyes "Oh, come on, how often does it bloody snow on Vulcan?"

"Approximately-" he began before he was dragged to the back door "wait, Alex, our coats" he cautioned.

"Oh, which reminds me! You should have one of your gifts now." She passed him a wrapped package. He opened it with his characteristic surgical precision to reveal a hat, scarf and gloves in shades of blue.

"I'm getting better. My first knitting was bloody awful! One of Mum's ancient hobbies. We think more people should still do it."

"My Mother also enjoys the pastime" Spock said, pulling on the items "thankyou for the gifts, Alex. I appreciate the time you must have spent…"

"No problem" Alex said with uncharacteristic bashfulness "hopefully you'll come over next year, get some more use out of them."

As Spock walked through the rapidly whitening garden, he was struck by the beauty of it. He understood now why so many Terran poems had been devoted to the meteorological phenomenon. It seemed to almost possess bioluminescence and its movement through the air was elegantly hypnotic.

Suddenly, he was struck by a light impact. He turned to find a dusting of snow on his shoulder and Alex laughing "Come on" she called "help me build this or I've got another one here!"

"I believe that shows cowardice, Alex as, owing to your condition, I cannot return fire. Further, I do not believe it safe to remain for long for the same reason."

"Come on, I'll be ok for a bit! And I give you permission to return all the fire you like! After this. You know what a snowman looks like, right? I'll start the body, you get that shovel for-"

Alex never got to finish her instruction owing to the large snowball that had impacted against her chest.

"You did give me permission, krei" Spock stated with a careful poker face.

Alex fell to the softened ground with the force of her laughter. Spock raised an eyebrow at the situation but was enjoying the moment. After all, he considered his cousin's laughter a very pleasing sound.


	7. Reminiscing

Spock opened the door to his cousin who greeted him with her customary wide grin "anybody else in?" she asked, looking behind him.

"We did not expect your arrival for several hours and so my mother stayed in the city to teach her usual afternoon class. Father will also be working late."

"Just us for now then" she smiled, insisting on carrying at least some of her not inconsiderable luggage. Spock frowned minutely as he lifted the larger suitcase into her normal room and settled her on the settee with a drink. "I was under the impression that you would only be with us for a fortnight, krei." he told her with something like mirth.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Brought our Grandad's old telescope. For the meteor shower tomorrow. Was thinking we could take it up the mountains with some snacks. After all, we never did get round to that picnic up there that first summer, did we?"

"That may have been due to the fact your leg was incapacitated for a good deal of it, Alex" her cousin teased. She raised her eyebrows and gave him a gentle push in retaliation. "Besides", he continued more somberly "I'm afraid my calculations were incorrect as to the timing of the event. It took place several days earlier in the year than it usually does. Therefore, you have missed it by 5 nights."

"Wow. This must be the first time your maths has been wrong. You feeling okay? Thought you had a green tinge" she jested, a slight note of disappointment creeping in to her otherwise cheery tone. For the past eleven years, a strange cosmic phenomenon had started to happen annually in the vicinity of Vulcan. Scientists had examined and artists had described and it had piqued Alex's boundless curiosity. Naturally, she had wanted to see it for herself. The event had been called more beautiful than the aurora borealis. Spock had calculated the date it was expected this year and had informed Alex it coincided with her expected visit. He regretted her disappointment and, illogically, had an impulse to 'make it up' to her.

"My blood is green and therefore my complexion will also be slightly green, as well you know" he couldn't resist replying, taking a sip of his own cool drink. "Alex, I could show you the phenomenon as I recall it from my own experiences. My Mother and I spent a great deal of time watching it last year."

"Are you suggesting what I think you are?" Alex asked.

"A mind meld yes. I have not attempted this before but it should not be difficult to establish a link. Vulcan's have a natural telepathy with their parents. Genetic similarities also make melds between family members easier. However, I am the first known Vulcan hybrid of my particular combination to have survived to a full term birth. I confess that I have no frame of reference for our particular family's case so it may be somewhat different."

"Because humans are psi-null? Wait, does that mean you can't do that telepathy thing with Aunt Mandy?"

"It is unusual in our case but, yes. I must instigate each communication and they are more abstract than the telepathic exchanges I have with my Father. However she is usually quite capable of instinctive understanding despite this. It is Father's opinion that that this is owing to the fact I have a higher than average psi-rating and Mother is a most empathetic and intelligent example of her race. An observation that I agree with."

Alex couldn't help but smile fondly when her cousin spoke of his mother with such affection. Whoever said that Vulcan's couldn't love really ought to be introduced to Spock and Amanda.

"Okay, so how do we do this?"

Spock arranged his fingers across his cousin's face, each fingertip corresponding to a psi-point. "My mind to your mind…" he said softly. Alex inhaled a sharp breath.

And she was standing in her darkened classroom at the Vulcan Youth Academy, having just completed her lessons for the morning. She felt, more than heard the group of three juvenile males, all older than herself, behind her. She felt a strange sense of mixed resignation and apprehension at their approach. She knew the interaction would not be pleasant. "I presume you have prepared new insults for today" she didn't quite sigh.

With little preamble they proved her right "you are neither human nor Vulcan and therefore have no place in this universe" the eldest said in a nasty monotone. Alex flinched.

"Perhaps emotional responses require physical stimuli" Alex felt herself being pushed backwards.

…

With a lurch, the three boys changed into Kaycee and Jake, their expressions between fury and worry. Spock looked up defiantly at them both. "I don't see why I shouldn't. Not as if they like him anyway!" he yelled at Kaycee.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"See if I don't" he shot back, his own anger rising.

He heard a smack and a sting.

…

"Father Traitor. Human whore." The words filled her head, blotting out her reason that told her to hide her reaction. A haze of anger had descended and demanded release. It was a vile, dirty word and she would NOT have it used against her mother! With a wordless cry, she pushed Stonn into one of the vacant pods and slammed her fist into his face, dark emerald liquid pooled in his now sore nostrills.

'Wow!' thought Alex, impressed 'I'm proud of ya, Spock. Really showed him where to go!' 

'Most illogical, to feel pride for violence' 

'Aren't I always? God, this is strange!'

…

Then they were both walking along the path up the mountains, Spock hanging back "Come on, we'll never get there! You not chickening out on me, are you?". Spock felt Alex's abashed amusement at the memory.

…

And so it went on, snatches of conversations, last Christmas in London, Spock holding on to the fur of his dead pet selat, I-Chaya, then an image of the animal in his younger days, guarding the infant Spock in the garden. Alex, excited to be going to Vulcan for the first time, then teaching another of her cousins three-dimensional chess, amused at the younger child's lack of comprehension. At last, Spock found the memory he had been searching for.

…

She stood in the garden, looking up at the night sky. "Should be about five minutes" Amanda smiled. She looked up at her mother marvelling at her sense of excitement. It was a comparatively frequent cosmic event after all.

Then, it began, painting cosmic colours across the sky. Each meteor ploughed a dazzling train behind it. White hot, igneous ships, carving wakes of beautiful light across the clear sky. With incredible suddenness, Spock understood his mother's love of stargazing 'Alex would certainly appreciate this'…

...

Spock let go of Alex's meld points. His cousin gaped at him, slightly breathless and wide eyed. "That was, wow!" she sighed "well we can safely say the family connection works even if you're psi-null! Thanks for the memory, Spock. The one at the end I mean. It really was beautiful."

"You are welcome. I only apologize that you were forced to experience-"

"It's okay, really. Guess both of us were misunderstood kids, huh? You had it worse, though. At least I only had one."

"I disagree, Alex. Kaycee is your sister."

"Yeah, well thanks to you things are better now. We get on. Is Stonn and that lot…do they still..." she trailed off.

"No, they did not directly taunt me again after the incident you witnessed."

She snorted "I'm not surprised. Remind me never to piss you off by the way!"

"That will be quite unnecessary, krei" he responded.


	8. Deciding

Everyone in the S'chn T'gai household was gathered for the evening meal. Amanda placed a tureen of fresh plomeek soup on the table and told the other three to 'tuck in'. It was an old Vulcan custom that guests in a household were the ones to prepare food as a sign of respect. Even some of the less traditional families kept to this cultural norm for at least one meal of an extended stay. This had caused Harry and Melanie substantial amusement the morning of the first time Spock had stayed with them and had prepared a surprisingly sophisticated breakfast for them all off his own back, even though the tradition generally exempted child visitors. Ever informed about Vulcan culture, Alex had attempted to reciprocate.

Amanda continued to cook on Alex's visits not only because she was human and retained her values but because she considered Alex an honorary part of their household and the closest thing she had to a daughter of her own. Alex had been very moved by this explanation but suspected it also had something to do with her almost succeeding in setting her Aunt and Uncle's kitchen on fire during her attempted lunch preparations last year. Amanda had perhaps learned why her sister always joked that her younger daughter should never be allowed within five feet of a kitchen appliance for everybody's health.

"Alex was just about to inform us of some pleasing news, my wife." Sarek said, turning to Amanda. The family turned to Alex expectantly.

"Well, as you know I got ill when my school year were all taking finals so I thought I'd have to repeat the year. Luckily I got extenuating resits so I managed to get my grades this year. That meant I could still apply to Starfleet Academy. It was tight but I got the application in in time and-" she paused with a mischievous twinkle dancing in her brown eyes.

"And?" asked Amanda.

"You're looking at Cadet Greyson-Stewart on the Engineering Track!"

"Oh, Alex, I'm so proud of you!" Amanda cried, throwing her arms around her niece "I knew you would."

"Indeed, Mother" Spock interjected "Alex does have a talent for causing her desires to materialize through her efforts"

"Congratulations on your success, Alex" Sarek told her.

"Do you know, you're the first one in the family to get into Starfleet out of school, and first attempt too!" Amanda smiled.

"Well, that's until Spock the brainbox here comes along to steal my thunder next year!" Alex laughed, expecting her cousin to reply something along the lines of 'highly illogical as we would be the same age and you would consequently still be the first and the youngest' or 'and how would I steal a meteorological phenomenon, Alex?'

Instead it was Sarek who spoke "Spock is to enter the Vulcan Science Academy next year."

"I don't believe I have yet made my final decision, Father" came the quiet but stony voice of Spock.

"I was under the impression that your decision was to honor both Vulcan tradition and my wishes, my son."

The atmosphere in the room quickly turned. Jovial warmth was replaced by an icy silence as the father and son exchanged significant looks and Amanda looked worriedly between them. Alex bit her lip. Ah. So this was why they had been acting weirdly all day. She suddenly got the unpleasant impression of intruding on a moment at least two of those gathered would not want her to see. She was shocked to see the two Vulcans positively glaring at each other. Desperate to diffuse the oppressive tension building in the dining room, Alex blurted her second piece of good news "Ben proposed to Kaycee last week. They're planning the wedding in April next year. Guess you guys will be there?"

"That's wonderful, Alex, of course" Amanda said gratefully. Words of assent came from the two males but there was still a simmering sense of conflict in the room.

The conversation turned to Sarek's recent sentientarian work relocating the victims of tragedy on the agricultural Federation colony of Tarsus IV and the tyranny of its criminal Governor Kodos, who had responded to a crop failure by sentencing half the 8,000 colony members to death to preserve the remainder from starvation. He had complied two lists, one to live and one to die and delivered a damning, clinical speech outlining his plan for the people.

What was worse was that the lists were not random but based on Kodos's own ideological ideals and eugenics. It was a stark fact that everyone on the 'to live' list had been of a certain genetic type, non-disabled and had a high IQ range. It was also disturbing to note only sixty of the 2,800 non human inhabitants of Tarsus were spared the 'death' list. Those that had not been executed after the speech ran. Even those on the living list feared the cruel restrictions Kodos imposed as well as his secret police. Many had compared the environment that prevailed for many weeks to that of Nazi Germany in the mid 20th century. Even these extreme measures were not enough. Most of the surviving colonists had been found in varying states of illness and malnutrition by the relief ships that turned up. In the confusion caused by Starfleet's eventual arrival after being waylaid by a marauding Klingon clan who were attempting to stake a claim on the region of space, a riot had broken out and the resulting fire had killed Kodos and most of his staff.

The family were united in their condemnation of the Governor and in their admiration of those survivors who had fought for others. "Notable among these was a teenage boy who introduced himself to me as 'JT'. He not only cared for a group of children, many of whom were orphaned, for several weeks but refused to reveal their whereabouts under what bordered on torture when captured by Kodos. He personally saved 28 lives. He was originally on the list destined to live under Kodos's rule. His uncle was not as fortunate. His cousins were among the children he saved before they were returned to their mother's custody." Sarek told them. Amanda, ever compassionate, looked horrified.

"Wow! Brave kid!" Alex said "Good riddance the bastard's dead. All those poor people…"

"Indeed, Alex, although it may have been preferable for him answer for his crimes in prison." Spock said.

"Maybe…" Alex mused. She never had approved of the death penalty, believing it reduced one to the level of the enemy but she almost felt like making an exception for such cases "can't believe that sort of stuff still goes on in this day and age." She commented.

"Indeed, Alex. Although it is, mercifully, rare" her uncle replied gravely.

The conversation turned to lighter topics, namely the impending wedding. After dinner, Alex went to the kitchen to help her aunt clean up. She could at least be trusted with that. "What was that about earlier?" she asked.

To her dismay, Amanda's face fell and her dark eyes glazed over with tears "Alex, can you do something for me?"

"Sure, anything! Aunt Mandy?"

"Can you talk to Spock? He and his father have not been on great terms lately. Your uncle's a good man but for all his logic he can't view this objectively. He wants his son to follow his career and his path. I know Sarek genuinely believes that it's best for Spock but the last thing I want is to see my only son made miserable by a life he had no control over and doesn't want. And yes, he would be miserable. Isn't it enough that we've chosen his wife for him? I just want to let him know what his options are, that he has options but I don't think he feels that he can discuss it with me. In his eyes it would be like going behind his father's back. I just need someone else he knows is there for him, to listen. I can't think of anyone better. You're more like a sister than a cousin!"

Alex took a deep breath "Aunt Mandy, can I ask you something? Why didn't you have more kids? I mean you're an amazing mum and you love children so..."

Amanda sighed with a grateful smile "It wasn't for want of trying, Alex. After a while I realized that keeping on was pointless. Spock was enough for me and then we got close to you…".

Alex found herself welling up "damn, this is a hell of a lot of emotion for a Vulcan kitchen!" she said, hugging her Aunt.

"Honey, the house may be Vulcan but the kitchen's mine!" Amanda grinned.

/

Over Alex's long friendship with Spock she had learned that the best approach, from her at any rate, was direct. "Hey, what's eating ya? Don't give me that literal look, I mean what's wrong? And don't say 'nothing' or I might have to beat it out of you" she said, biting into an apple.

"That would be rather detrimental to my health, Alex."

"You'd live. You gonna tell me?"

"I find myself…conflicted. I have reached a point in my life when I must make the choice about how best to spend the rest of my existence. I find myself , to use a human phrase, at a loss."

Alex knew she was lucky. There were only two things she had ever wanted to be and that was an engineer and a Starfleet officer. As a cadet of the engineering track, she would have both. There had been no such agonizing for her. "Lots of people struggle with that" she replied.

"I am aware of this. However, my difficulty is compounded by the conflict between my parents wishes for me.."

"And in the middle of all of this you just wanna choose for yourself, right? Well you can, Spock. All of us have got the right to self-determination. It's a free galaxy, you know!"

"If you had this discussion with my Father, you may have a different opinion, krei. Besides I am unsure which option I want to choose.". Unbidden, a memory surfaced of the night Amanda had finally lost her patience and cried about her husband and son's disagreement. "You have distressed your mother, Spock" Sarek had admonished. "I believe the blame lies with you, Father. As I recall you initiated this topic as you have the last six occasions we discussed it". Both left the room by separate doors.

"Vulcan to Spock!" Alex called him back. "Hey, look just think about what you want to do. I know thinking about yourself isn't exactly Vulcan; 'the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few' and all but you'll be better for it. Even if you do end up at the VSA, just let it be what you want, okay? You know we'll all love ya anyway. Yes, even your dad." She grinned. "Y'know what I do whenever I make a tough choice? Chocolate or caramel topping, you know, the big things? My Dad taught me."

Spock resisted a sigh at such illogical flippancy and instead quirked an eyebrow.

"Take two random objects and have one represent Option A and the other Option B. Whichever one you look at most is the one you want to pick. Simple! Okay, not quite but easier. Lets you get in touch with your subconscious."

"A most unusual method but it is one I may utilize. Many of your suggestions, while illogical, have proven to be most…fascinating".


	9. Seperating

"Then it gives me great pleasure to announce that you are husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!" smiled the registrar, a very short, very fat man with the frankly absurd name of Barney Bates. The guy even had comically tiny glasses. Who even wore glasses anymore? A younger Alex may have broken into fits of giggles. As it was she was having trouble. Her glee at everything today was considerably heightened by the atmosphere. Her big sister was getting married and looked absolutely stunning, wearing her blonde hair in an intricate crown on her head and a sweeping light blue dress. Ben didn't need telling twice. The couple pulled each other into a deep embrace and seemed oblivious to the rest of the gathering of eighty people. Alex was the first to stand in applause, the Vulcan-human to her right following suit. She laughed, giving her new brother in law and Kaycee a hug as they passed. As the gathering left the flower-adorned neutral-religion chapel, small boxes were distributed. The two non-Terrans in attendance looked completely bemused at their contents. "We had a Vulcan wedding" explained Amanda.

"Look, here" Alex said, "you throw it over the bride and groom see?"

"Another illogical tradition, Alex?" asked Spock.

"Yep, don't try to understand us, just love us" she beamed at her cousin and uncle who threw the confetti with the best of them without a trace of comprehension on their stoic faces.

/

Later, the reception was in full swing and Alex plopped down next to her cousin out of breath. "Tell me, why do they give you so much food at weddings if they want you to be in any condition to dance after?" she asked, twirling the string of an ivory coloured balloon around her finger. Spock simply raised an eyebrow, having been educated on rhetorical questions long ago. She took another swig of champagne and giggled. "I do believe you are becoming inebriated, Alex" Spock said disapprovingly.

"Nahh, just happy. It's been a great day. Ben and Kaycee are great together, right? Just look at them. My doing, you know! I had a Tellman's attack at his parent's restaurant when I was with some mates. He was doing work experience there and helped me home. Only Kaycee was home at the time and they got talking."

"A possible career, Alex?" teased Spock.

"Yep! Hey, they could call me the matchmaking mechanic! In fact, there's two guys in my cadet class that would be sooo great together! Schneider and N'karg, human and Andorian. What do you reckon their kids would look like?"

"You are aware that two males…"

"Well, technology these days, right? That's what they said about humans and Vulcan's but I'm talking to living proof that can happen with some help" she grinned across the dance floor "speaking of careers, any joy with your decision?"

Spock sat almost imperceptibly straighter "I do not believe this to be a good time to discuss this".

Alex frowned and was about to speak when the song changed. "Oh boy, it's Queen! Sorry Spock, I can't NOT dance to Queen! Besides, I've to go save my Dad from embarrassing himself alone! Fancy joining?"

"I would prefer not, Alex"

"Suit yourself!" she replied, leaping up and singing along loudly "Open your eyes! Look up to the skies and seeee!"

"I'm just a poor boy! I need no sympathy!" hollered Harry.

"Dad, Ali!" groaned Kaycee "I know neither of you!"

/

"Okay what's wrong?" asked Alex with characteristic bluntness. The family were staying at a hotel in Cornwall for a few days before the newlyweds departed for more balmy climes in historic Rome. The Grayson-Stewarts were delighted that Amanda and her family had decided to join them. Spock had been infuriatingly distant since the wedding, having barely spoken to anyone but he seemed to be especially avoiding Alex. Perhaps that was just because they were normally 'joined at the hip' when they were together according to Melanie. She had put up with it for two days but was finally determined to see what was up.

"To what are you referring?"

"You know what! You've been blanking me all weekend. It's about what you were gonna say at the wedding, right?"

To her surprise, he gave her a straight answer "Yes"

"Well? Speak up!" Alex sat on the bench beside him, idly picking off small balls of moss with her fingernails.

"I confess I was unsure about how to inform you of my decisions regarding my future, Alex. After some thought, I decided that the VSA was a better option. I have submitted my candidacy."

"That's great, I'm sure you'll get in. They'd have to be mad not to accept you!"

"There is a second decision I am considering" he said gravely. Alex was worried. It was the sort of tone that most people reserved for delivering news of terminal illness. He inhaled "I am considering undergoing the ritual of Kholinhar."

"What, the purge? No emotion?" Alex asked in shock "wait don't students of Kholinhar have to purge friendships too?"

"Yes, Alex. Any such emotional connections taint the principles of the ritual. I believe it to be the most logical…"

She did not like the direction of this conversation "taint?" she murmured slowly "is that what we are to you?"

"I am sorry, I do not take your meaning" replied the Vulcan.

Something snapped inside Alex "You know bloody well what I mean! You're not doing this 'cause its 'logical'" she spat the word "'cause you want to! You're doing this to please your father. You're not Sarek! You never will be. You should be yourself can't you see that? The best of both worlds!"

"I am aware Alex but I believe it is for the best. In order to honor…"

Alex wasn't listening. A small, rational part of her brain told her she was being unreasonable, mean even but the rest of her didn't care "No! This isn't about 'the best', this is about making up for being related to humans! The ritual, the VSA, all of it! Your father has told you your whole life that you have to be more Vulcan, more everything just to be equal to everyone else. I've never met someone who was racist to his own wife and son! Why did he marry my aunt then? Why did he let me stay over all those years if he didn't want his family 'tainted' with us?"

"You are being irrational. My father is not…"

To Alex's own frustration, tears filled her eyes, so like her cousin's. After several moments, she put the jumble of thoughts in her head into some semblance of order "You know you were the best friend I ever had? Actually you were my first friend. People liked me but no one really 'got' me as a kid. But if you're gonna go buddy up with a load of xenophobic Vulcans and purge your emotions, then I guess that means nothing to you?" her voice shook "You don't want my friendship anymore, fine. Love is clearly a disadvantage reserved for us lowly, mentally deficient humans! I just hope Aunt Mandy understands when you explain it to her! I'm sure your mother'd love to hear about how her species and your relationship is 'tainting' your Vulcan logic!". Alex stood and began stamping down the gravel path with a little more noise and bluster than was strictly needed. She didn't even hear Spock speak her name.

/

Alex sat on the expansive lawn. She had been avoiding her family all day. She was torn between the hurt she felt, the magnitude of which even she didn't fully understand, and guilt at her harsh words. She curled against a tree, its bark rough against cheeks raw from crying. "What's. Wrong. With. Me?" she gasped "I'm a freaking Starfleet cadet for crying out loud! I should have done some growing up by now.". She felt the signs of a Tellman's attack coming on but couldn't face going into the house to get her meds.

"Ali?" asked the voice of her sister "Ali, God it's freezing out here. You're gonna get sick if you stay out much longer!" then Kaycee noticed her expression "Jesus, Ali, what happened?"

Alex told Kaycee about the disaster of a conversation earlier, hugging her close "I'm so sorry, Kay! You're on honeymoon! You shouldn't be having to take care of your insane kid sister!"

"I know, you're such a pain in the ass!" Kaycee joked "seriously though, it's okay. It's him who should apologize for being so bloody insensitive! He'll come round."

"That's the thing, though! I'm scared the things I said made him want to push his human half further away."

"I don't think you can get much further away than some kinda spiritual lobotomy." Said Kaycee dryly. At the sight of Alex's stricken expression at the ugly term she winced. "Jesus, sorry, Ali. I'm not very good at this am I? I just want you to know I'm here for you, for what it's worth. I know I should have been better to you when we were kids and I wanna make up for it now, okay?"

"Love you, Kay" Alex half laughed half sobbed.

"C'mon. Lets go inside, you get to bed and we sort this in the morning, okay? Remember that song Mum sang whenever we had nightmares?"

"Bet your bottom dollar I do!"

/

Unfortunately, when Alex awoke the next morning, it was to find her cousin and his parents had already left for Vulcan.


	10. Reconciling

For a number of weeks after the wedding, Spock was at a complete loss. He hadn't expected Alex to be thrilled with the news of his life choice but he hadn't anticipated quite such a volatile reaction. He was moved by the realization of the importance and value that Alex placed in their friendship. It also made him concerned at what the reaction of his mother would be if his cousin had had that response. She would no doubt hide it better than Alex but he suspected she would interpret it in the same way his cousin had. He had no desire to cause pain to any of his family. On the morning of his admission hearing at the VSA Amanda expressed to him that no matter what he decided she would be a proud mother. His conscience was appeased by her response and yet he found his decision to pursue Kholinhar rather less concrete than it had been. He wondered briefly whether his father would feel the same about his choices.

"It is truly remarkable, Spock that you have achieved so much, despite your disadvantage"

The minister's words returned obstinately to Spock as he recalled the same word used by Alex. Was that what his decision had truly sounded like to her? The Council of the VSA may have accepted his application but they certainly had not accepted him. It was then that he made the decision he had truly intended to make all along. To utilize the one aspect of his application that was flawed in their eyes. His 'logical cultivation of multiple options' as he had explained it. His father had looked as stern as the rest of them when he respectfully declined the proffered VSA place, already destined for infamy as the first Vulcan ever to do so despite his flippant remark that "as I am half human your record remains untarnished". Spock couldn't help resenting the fact that his father still hadn't come to his wife's defence and that even now he was willing to ignore such bigotry in her presence. He had to confess that he had not been entirely sincere in his parting comments: "the only emotion I wish to convey is gratitude. Live long and prosper".

He arrived home before his parents. At this point, he was glad of the solitude. After some time, however, he tired of it and found himself remembering his mother urging him for weeks to speak with his cousin. He decided that that conversation was long overdue and started his computer rather than his hand held communicator. He felt visual contact would be needed for such a sensitive conversation.

/

Alex hated this. She had never dealt with confrontation well or had a true argument with anyone besides Kaycee her entire life and now she found herself in the lamentable position of being estranged from her cousin and best friend. Granted, 'estranged' may have been a strong term to apply to a raw rift that was only weeks old but ordinarily they would have spoken several times. Alex had fluctuated between wanting to speak to him (especially when anything noteworthy happened on campus as his dry lack of comprehension never failed to draw a laugh from her) and somewhat petulantly feeling that since he was the one who had upset her he could be the one to comm if he wanted. Still, as life at the Academy settled down and the first year assessments loomed, thoughts of Spock were driven from her mind as invites to the movies, the arcade or the student bar began to change to study groups in the libraries and practice simulations. Besides, she had many friends at the Academy so couldn't exactly call herself lonely. The silence between her and her cousin still bothered her, though.

One sunny afternoon, she sat in her dorm room buried both figuratively and literally under heaps of revision for Basic Warp Theory and her assignment: "Zefram Cochrane was responsible for the single greatest achievement in space travel of all time. Discuss in 3,000 words with 15% word count allowance.". Her argument was to point out the flagrant Terran bias of the statement. After all many races, including Vulcans, had reached warp capability long before humans and a great deal of them would happily have shared such technology. She also noted that while clearly a brilliant and praiseworthy scientist, he was merely building on foundations stretching all the way back to the NASA days. She was enjoying the essay immensely, being fond of philosophical and hypothetical debates but many of her classmates yearned for less of a history lesson. They had all gathered in the library but Alex felt she would get more done in the dorms, being almost dead at this time of year because of the glorious weather.

"It's not fair!" her half-Orion friend Mel'vala had complained after one particularly hard study session for the Navigation Track "We should be drinking milkshake on the Golden Gate bridge, tanning in the sunlight, not cooped up here learning Stellar Cartography!". Alex, much as she enjoyed her studies, very much agreed.

With a harsh buzz that caused Alex to fall over with a very undignified yelp, jolting her sharply from her reverie and scattering biscuit crumbs, her communicator began to ring. A glance at the screen told her it was a video call from Vulcan. Either it was her Aunt Mandy trying to convince Alex to make the first 'make up' move again or the person with whom she needed to carry out such actions. "Deep breath and high ground, Alexandra" she muttered to herself before accepting the call.

Indeed, it was Spock "Dammit, Spock, my comm gave me a heart attack!" cried Alex.

"Is this a difficult time, Alex? I can call at a later hour if you would prefer…"

Was it just her or did he look … jittery? "No, don't worry. You kinda saved me from drowning in equations.". A few seconds of decidedly awkward silence stretched between them like the physical light-years over which they were communicating before Spock broke it.

"My application to the Vulcan Science Academy was approved" he stated. Alex couldn't help a slight flare of anger even as she was pleased for his success. She would have wanted a less blunt approach to the cause of their silence and couldn't help feeling that there was some kind of smug point coming along. Still, she managed a stiff "Well done".

"I declined the offer."

Alex looked up sharply "Why?"

"I believe that your assessment of my decision the last time we spoke was correct, if rather hysterically put, Alex. Also, the head of the VSA council made several remarks suggesting that were it not for my exceptional grades, I would not have been considered."

After learning what he had said and Spock's response, Alex responded "Xenophobic Arse! Good on ya, Spock. What did your dad say?"

"We have not yet spoken but I suspect he will be … less than satisfied with my decision."

"Is it gonna make a difference?"

"No."

Alex raised her eyebrow in an uncanny imitation of her cousin. "Good. He'll come round soon enough and even if he doesn't it's your life!"

"There is another decision that has altered, Alex. I no longer wish to pursue Kholinhar. Given my new career choice, I believe it would be illogical to attempt the ritual and would impair my ability to interact with my colleagues."

"And what is your new career choice?"

"I have applied to the Science Track of Starfleet Academy. I believe it is a much better use of my skills as well as a better way to achieve my goals than the VSA. Working in uncharted territory, perhaps beyond the Alpha Quadrant, will present most fascinating challenges and opportunities."

Alex's smile grew "Turns out I was right! You couldn't resist could you? Come on say I was right."

"I believe I already have, krei. Nevertheless, it is true, however improbable.". Alex's heart warmed at the use of the old nickname and the residual frostiness vanished.

"Well, when you have eliminated the impossible whatever remains however…illogical…must be the truth."

"You are misquoting Sherlock Holmes, Alex."

"Paraphrasing" she countered.

Spock began again "There is an additional reason why I did not choose the ritual, Alex. You made me aware that both yourself and my mother would be emotionally harmed by my decision and that it would not be the most fitting way to honor my duel heritage. In addition, I believe I told you once that our friendship was a meaningful part of my life and your statements during our disagreement indicated that you reciprocate those opinions. It would therefore seem to be detrimental to both of us if that connection was terminated."

Alex was shocked. As apologies went, that was pretty impressive. The events of today had established that Spock was certainly no ordinary member of his father's race. The first Vulcanian full member of Starfleet! A rather better achievement, she felt, than doggedly fulfilling his father's wishes as a student of the VSA. She may have been slightly biased, though. The two talked for a while longer about Kaycee's return from honeymoon and Alex's studies "which you should return to presently." Spock coached.

"Yes, Dad! We are never being study partners, okay? Look, good luck with your dad. It's gonna be fine. Speak to you soon, okay? Wish me luck in the assignment!"

"Given your conversation on the subject, that hardly seems necessary."


	11. Arriving II

"Passengers are reminded that we will be arriving at our destination in approximately ten minutes. Please take all your personal belongings with you. We hope you have had a pleasant journey and that your stay in San Francisco is productive." A soothing female voice issued over the spacecraft's PA.

Spock might not have called the journey pleasant, being full of troubling thoughts and emotions, but certainly hoped that his time in this city would be. The conversation with his father was as he had expected. He couldn't help agreeing with his mother's assessment that it was "Sybok all over again" as he and his father had the closest thing to a 'row' Vulcans were culturally capable of having before he left the family home with the belongings he would need for his journey to Earth.

His mother's reaction was rather different, as he had anticipated. She had told him she was happy and that he had made a good choice. She had already predicted his decision and arranged his transportation. "Remember, I am proud, Spock. Of all you are and all you will be. And you'll be quite something. Us mothers have a habit of knowing these things". She gave him a warm smile and hesitated slightly before enveloping him in a tight, loving embrace, moisture in her eyes. His usual aversion to such contact aside, he felt strangely vindicated and contented with his choice. He returned the hug with reserved affection. "Comm me as soon as you arrive okay, the shuttle leaves in an hour." She told him, breaking the contact and giving his arm a gentle rub and push out of the door.

"Father will not be pleased with our actions, Mother."

"Let me deal with your Father, Spock. I've had plenty of practice! He'll come around. Don't worry about a thing."

Spock was about to say that, as a Vulcan, he was not worried but thought that it would be an insult to her intelligence and the innate understanding of him she had always shown. Words were not needed between the mother and son so he simply said "Farewell, Mother and thankyou. I will communicate with you shortly and inform you where I will be staying". He raised his hand in the ta'al and waited for her to reciprocate before departing. Had he simply imagined it or had Amanda's parting smile been rather…knowing?

Later on, hours after the shuttle's departure from Shi'khar Spaceport, his personal PADD had bleeped. When he checked the display a simple text-based message scrolled across the screen "Just got ur mum's message. Ur staying with me when u get here. No buts! Live in the Archer building. No. 1701. See u in a few hours. Will get u from SFSP – A". So that explained the knowing smile. Spock replied:

"I would raise no objections even were I to have the option, Alex. I will see you when I arrive at San Francisco Spaceport at 17:12".

"Okey, dokey!"

"Another whimsical colloquialism?"

"What else? Cu x"

/

"Welcome to my very humble abode!" Alex said opening the door to her dorm "Good to be out of that rain, huh? Still, probably a novel experience for you!". A small apartment with a simple kitchenette in the living area, two virtual cupboards that served as bedrooms and a wetroom, it was perfectly adequate for the needs of Alex and her two roommates. At least it would be if Alex and Kelly Gardener were not so neglectful of their tidying duties. Every surface had books, pads and various other pieces of academic and personal detritus that students are wont to accumulate littered across it. The sink was piled high with evidence of at least three meals and the sofa appeared to double as a clothes horse.

"Sorry, Spock! Didn't realize it was so trashed! God, I feel sorry for Darcey sometimes. She's our resident neat freak." Alex explained while trying to remove some of the mess.

"I echo her sentiment, krei" Spock quipped "I trust I will not impose…"

"Nah, they're on the Medical Track and they've got placements at the moment. Not me. I get to do another exam on Friday! Go me!"

"I will not disturb your studies?"

"You kidding? I'm counting on you to keep me on track. I just can't get this module in my head!"

"May I shower before beginning my duties, Alex?"

She aimed a half-hearted slap at her cousin before nodding "Sure! Do you like Chinese? Was gonna order in tonight. Nothing in the cupboard except a tiny cube of cheese and a very suspect looking half loaf!"

"That will be acceptable, yes." Spock said before leaving to freshen up.

/

"For my first semester, I believe I will have Talbot, Jones, Shah and Nes'art" Spock told her over the food. It was a rather more formal affair than dinner with her roommates. She could barely remember the last time they had used the table for a meal. Or proper utensils for that matter.

"Oh, I had him! He's a really good instructor, enthusiastic. Keeps you awake at like eight in the morning. Looks don't hurt either! He's Orion and gorgeous!"

"You are aware of the regulations pertaining to…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know! Doesn't mean we can't all look, right?"

"You are incorrigible, Alex."

She laughed "Good to have you here, Spock! You're gonna love the Academy! Can't wait to show you around and meet everyone."

"I too will like the opportunity to become better acquainted with this city. When do you plan to return to your parent's house for the summer?" Spock asked.

"Um, in about four weeks. And you're coming, okay? You're not the only one with an insistent mother."

"Please pass my thanks on to my Aunt" Spock replied appreciatively. After dinner and a movie Alex chose (a title they had watched on one of his visits as a child), she showed him to the room he would be staying in (quite obviously usually occupied by Darcey) and they said goodnight full of the promise of new beginnings tomorrow. 

Epilogue 

Alex sat beside her Aunt on one of the chairs set up in the neat Main Quadrangle on the picturesque grounds of Starfleet Academy. The beautiful sunshine gave all colour a sharp yet surreal quality as the prestigious institution's graduating class for this year gathered in the grassy area to receive their diplomas. It was a great shame Sarek had been called away on urgent business. Surely this day, the completion of Spock's mandatory term of training for Starfleet, would have been enough to move him to a flicker of pride, despite his objections? Then again, pride was probably at fault for the rift between father and son in the first place. She was only too happy to accept the invitation in her Uncle's place but felt sad for her cousin when he had said that "it is perhaps more appropriate that a second person who has always supported my choice be in attendance than one who even now wholly disapproves of it". Alex had always liked her Uncle, being a decent, intelligent man but could not forgive his treatment of his son these past years. Only one parent had kept in regular contact with him during his time at the Academy. Alex, of course, saw him fairly regularly. Less so as their different Tracks and social groups took them to different places in the later years. This was especially true of Spock's time on board the new USS Enterprise during an internship under Captain Christopher Pike. He had temporarily fulfilled a research role left vacant by the Chief Science Officer who had fallen ill. The Captain had noticed great potential in the cadet. Still, the cousins had always tried to make time to visit one another.

The two human women exchanged smiles as the name 'S'chn T'gai Spock' was called. They both winced slightly at the truly appalling Vulcan pronunciation of the Admiral presenting the event. If the owner of the name felt any similar dismay, he didn't show it. Impeccably neat and proper in his new uniform as always, he approached the podium and was handed the ceremonial diploma. Admiral Barnett redeemed himself by presenting the ta'al rather than offering a hand. Spock returned it with a respectful nod and once again took his seat as 'Smith, Oliver' was summoned.

After the ceremony, drinks were laid on for the graduates and their guests. Alex hung back, allowing Amanda a moment alone with her son before stepping forward with a wide smile. She just about caught herself before hugging her cousin. He reached over and clasped her arms in a reserved gesture of affection.

"Well done, Spock! We're so proud of you!" She beamed, returning the motion.

"I do not think the events of today required any great effort on my part, krei."

"She was referring to the events of the last four years, Spock" admonished Amanda gently.

"Thankyou for attending, Alex." Spock said simply, his tone implying 'it meant a lot to me.'

"Anything for the best Vulcan in Starfleet!"

"Illogical as I am the only…"

"You know exactly what I mean!" Alex responded indignantly.

"So, what are your plans now, my son?" asked Amanda.

"I have been approached by Captain McKenna of the USS Artemis to serve as a junior science officer. A position which I have accepted. I am now an Ensign."

"Wow! A ship assignment? Again? Bloody good job!" Alex interjected enthusiastically.

"What are you doing at the moment, Alex?"

"Oh, I'm on Jupiter Station helping improve the warp efficiency of the new starships. It's a smallish team. About twenty of us."

"Well, I seem to be a dunce between two high flyers! I'm very proud of you both!" Amanda replied.

They both protested. "You, Mother, are very far from a 'dunce'. Your work has greatly improved the cultural understanding…" Spock began.

"Well enough of this mutual appreciation, you two! You appear to have visitors. Isn't that Armand, Spock?"

The two of them turned to converse with friends and colleagues that had approached and Amanda stood back, picking up a drink with a smile and a contented sigh as she glanced between the two young people she loved best in the world. Now a grown man and woman, they were ready to take their places in the galaxy and she had no doubt that their futures would be bright. Amanda, after all, was rarely wrong.

\\\//, Fin ,\\\//


End file.
